As per tradition, lunarriviera and I asked each other some questions from this list, so we could talk about our fic output over the last year. Whee!

» 2022 edition
» 2023 edition

2. What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year?

Not to keep going on about it, but I did post omegaverse porn* for the first time! \o/ Not nearly unhinged enough, looking back on it now, but I guess we all have to start somewhere. Oh, and I wrote something really long**, with some kind of plot, and a bit of an ensemble cast, and not a single sex scene beyond fade-to-black? Wild. It was wild! And I got a ludicrous amount of comments on it, it was so nice. 🥹

* to reduce a fraction to its simplest form (War of Faith)
** again and again, even though we know love's landscape (Guardian)

3. What piece of media inspired you the most?

Well, War of Faith got me good. Absolutely did not expect to enjoy it this much, and then the tiny, enthusiastic fandom really sealed the deal for me. It's true, you really only need a handful of people to be unhinged about your blorbos with you, and it's the perfect fandom experience. I don't see myself doing the kind of research that would be required to do something plotty and substantial for this canon, but characters who are a little bit insane about each other? That I can do!

6. What characters captured your heart?

Can I pick Zhang Kangle? Can he be a character? I mean, I loved Xiaoge in Tibetan Sea Flower, but I also loved Huang Junjie's and Xiao Yuliang's versions, and did I watch a stupid kids show that got horrendously butchered by censorship for them? I did not!

I love him, it's a problem. 🥺 (I think what's saving me from a Zhu Yilong-level obsession is that there's no ZKL wenella, and no giant primer with links to subbed interviews and things. So, you know. That's probably a good thing.)

11. What fic was the most difficult to write?

Well, obviously the very long one. The thing is, my memory is really really bad, and I rarely remember what the writing process for any given fic was actually like, just that it was done at some point and I probably complained a lot along the way.

I even forgot which scene I had mind as THE SCENE that everything else kind of builds up to, but it must have been something in chapter 5? I remember that Shen Wei and Yunlan were definitely supposed to fuck when I first started playing around with the idea in my head, but alas. [EDIT: Okay I just realized they did fuck, I just faded to black on that, and the "good enough" moment was the bit I was writing towards, so hey. Mystery solved.] I did enjoy when everything started coming together, and I'm glad nobody ever asked any questions about how the gang actually got Yunlan's memory back, because fuck if I know.

In conclusion, this took me over 3 months to write, and then I needed 2 months to recover from it, so I got like nothing else done last year. Worth it tho!

19. Share your favorite piece of dialogue

Whew, okay. Gonna be very self-indulgent here and post FIVE! Five favourite pieces!!! <maniacal Count von Count laughter> Also, I can't lie, the long one probably had some bangers, but I've already talked too much about that one, so it's not included here.

From when the lights go up and the music stops (Guardian)

"I'm sorry," the Lantern says.

"Are you? Do you actually feel sorry?"

There's a pinched quality to the Lantern's silence, which is answer enough for Yunlan.

"Well, I feel sorry! I feel sorry about all the things we didn't do; everything I should have promised him, and then honored. He waited for so long." The ringing inside him is back, but louder and more dissonant. When was the last time he felt so desperate? "He shouldn't have blown himself up! He shouldn't have left me, he never should have left me."

The light is much dimmer around him now, and the Lantern's voice is louder than usual when it says, "Lord Guardian, he wouldn't want you to--"

"That bastard owes me lunch!"

There's a pause.

"What," the Lantern says finally.

"He said he'd take me out! Once everything was done, we'd go for lunch. His treat." His smile was so pleased when he said it, too. Yunlan could not figure him out, but he wanted to. He wanted to know everything about him. "He owes me," he tells the Lantern, despair breaking through his voice. "He owes me!"

He takes a deep breath, or whatever it is his soul does that feels like breathing. Then he takes several more breaths. The light has returned to its usual steady brightness, although it still feels a little frayed in places.

Minutes or eons pass before the hears the Lantern's voice again.

"We will discuss."

From wind, tell her lightly (Parallel World)

He walks over and grabs the boy currently holding the doll, his fingers digging into the boy's arm. "You should be ashamed of yourself," he tells him grimly, then looks at his companions. "Three against one. Disgraceful."

The children mumble something, then scatter when he lets the boy's arm go to take the doll from him. They'll probably laugh about it when they're out of earshot, reassuring each other they weren't scared at all.

"Thank you, mister," the girl says, stepping closer.

"Here you go." He holds out the doll and she hugs it to her chest, but she doesn't run away. Just keeps looking at him as her tears dry on her cheeks, her eyes coming to rest on his left shoulder.

"Did it hurt?"

"Yes."

She looks at his face and then at his shoulder again, at the fall of fabric down his side. "Does it still hurt now?"

"Sometimes." He watches her fidget and takes pity on her, since she's clearly trying very hard not to pry. "You want to know how it happened?"

She nods at him, wide-eyed.

"I was stuck," he starts, then pauses. "In a bad place." He mimes a valiant attempt to yank his arm out of something that's clearly not budging until she giggles. "So a friend had to help me. With her sword." He mimes that part too, and her eyes grow even bigger and rounder. He gives her a solemn nod and she slowly nods back.

A shared secret.

From afterparty (Zhu Yilong RPF)

"This," he says, and then again when you exhale, a hint of something louder stealing into your breath. "This."

"Long-ge..."

"Just like this. You're perfect."

The word makes you grin helplessly, you've heard it so often now, mostly about him. You think he can hear your bared teeth, in the sounds you make as the pleasure coils between your legs, your eyes closed so you can't see the phone on your pillow. So you can picture him inside your head. "And you?"

"I just want to listen."

God, this shouldn't be so hot. "You aren't going to talk at all?" you say between breaths, a broken noise escaping into the darkness as you move into your hand.

"What do you want me to say?" He's teasing you again, his voice warm and rich, and you think you can understand now, how he feels when Bai Yu or Wang Yang slip inside his restless mind and take over.

You listen to your own breaths for a few strokes, the rhythm of it. The shakiness that tells him exactly what your hand is doing. Is there anyone who knows you as well as he does? "What would you tell the ocean?"

"Xin'ai," he says, longing in his voice, and it ripples through your whole body like a wave. Like something boundless and unstoppable.

You take another breath.

From where the hawks soar (DMBJ: Tibetan Sea Flower)

"Norbu here still hasn't remarried," the woman next to her is saying, laughter in her voice and a sparkle in her eyes. "We'll have to find you someone, don't we."

Norbu laughs. "If I wanted to marry again, I could do it without help. Easily!"

The women let out a whooping sound. "Listen to this one," one of them calls out.

She sees one of the older girls walk over to join them and smiles at her, the girl smiling back as she sits down to watch her work.

"You'll have to start making your own clothes soon," Norbu tells her, her needle gliding through the fabric, pulling the thread along. "It's time."

The girl makes a face. "Ma is teaching me, but she's so much better at it."

"That's why she's teaching you," Norbu laughs, jostling her shoulder. "She wasn't perfect when she was your age either. Every new skill takes time to master."

"Yeah, I know," the girl mutters, her eyes still trained on Norbu's hands.

"Norbu doesn't need to remarry," one of the older women says, her hands deftly mending a coat to keep her son warm for another winter. "All the children are already her children. She's got her hands full."

"But not all the men are her husbands!" the woman with the sparkling eyes says, and Norbu joins in the laughter.

"Maybe you're all my wives!"

The laughter gets louder as everyone raises their cups to toast her, and she drinks with them and lifts her face to the sun to feel warm everywhere.

How could anyone need more than this?

From in another place (War of Faith)

Tunan starts unbuttoning his borrowed shirt, baring just enough pale skin to press his lips against an unblemished spot and breathe in the scent of hospital soap and antiseptic and Ruolai. The red gashes below his throat are glistening with salve, and Tunan looks up at him again, the animal inside him straining against his hold.

"Xiansheng, it's okay," Ruolai says softly. "It was just a test." He smiles at Tunan; one of the soft, private ones, and Tunan is too stunned to respond. "I passed it," Ruolai says, the smile widening, a gleam in his eyes.

You're mad, Tunan wants to say. Asking me about Nanchang was a mad thing to do, and then you just never stopped. I shouldn't have--

He stops that train of thought. He always does.

"Ruolai," he says, in the tone of voice that commands his boy's full attention. "I would never test you in this manner."

The smile softens again, and Ruolai reaches out to carefully stroke his fingers down the side of Tunan's face. Mirroring him. Watching him, the gleam replaced by something more tentative. "It wasn't your test." He takes his hand away and just lets his arms hang down his side. Open and waiting. Offering himself. As patient as he ever could be, which means not for very long. But oh, the endless devotion inside him. A bottomless well of it.

Tunan swallows. "But you passed it for me."

Ruolai nods slowly. "Yes."

Tunan closes his eyes.

Five more questions to follow later! Thank you so much for reading, if you made it all the way to here. <3

» Part 2